Don’t you love talking to good listeners?
I'm referring to those who engage with what you have to say. People who make you feel heard. People other people want to be around.
There’s a reason good listeners stand out so much.
Human brains are wired for community, so when we hear something that triggers knowledge or a memory in our brains - we stop listening and start preparing to share the contents of our minds. When we encounter someone who has mastered that impulse, it’s subconsciously memorable.
If you think hard about it, you've prob been in a conversation where you're talking about something on and on… until another conversant says something that reveals their expertise on the matter. What you probably remember is that they didn’t broadcast their expertise at first mention of the subject. They listened, then chimed in when it was worthwhile.
The BEST candidates I interview are often good at this deferential attitude toward conversations. They don’t need to dominate the conversation and they answer my questions directly, without rambling or bragging. They’re self-aware.
That demonstration of sharing knowledge instead of showing off is an illustration of the difference between ego and self-esteem. Things like this are not on a resume, yet are so important to ensure a new hire can fit in with the team.